Giving a five star review

At the time of writing this post, I have given exactly one five-star rating.  The only criteria I've used to separate a four star from a five star is that I would read a five star novel again.  After reviewing books for a few months, I now believe that to be flawed.

I'm very picky about what I read, which means I enjoy most everything I read.  As a result, most of my reviews wind up being four-stars.  That's not to say I haven't found a few I didn't enjoy, but life is too short, and my time too precious to waste it on a story that isn't keeping my interest, and I don't review a book if I don't finish it.  The problem I've run into now is I have all these four-star reviews, none of which I may ever read again, but some I liked a good deal more than others.

So, just give more three star ratings, you might say.  No, these aren't three-star books.  I wouldn't finish a book I would give a two-star rating, and there aren't any of these books that deserve a rating just above "couldn't finish".

My solution: I need to start giving more five-star reviews.  Now I'm not giving these out willy-nilly, or they lose all value.  Know this, if you get a five-star review from me, it means I didn't just read your book when I got some free time.  No, I made time to read it, carved it out of time I should have spent doing something else, suffered nasty looks from my wife, and neglected my own work to read yours, all without a single regret.  That's my new criteria for a five-star review vs a four-star review.

Who am I, and why does this matter?

I'm nobody, and to most people this change won't matter at all.  The only ones who may appreciate it are the authors, and I'm more than happy to give them my support.

I've read several posts and blogs from people emphasizing the need to write bad reviews, all of which have convinced me of one thing: I don't need to write a bad review, as it seems there are plenty who will.  Writing a bad review about a book I didn't enjoy seems like it would be an awful experience and a waste of time, neither of which interest me.  What does interest me is writing a review and giving a rating that will perhaps encourage someone else to take a chance on a book I feel is definitely worth it.

Free story

I posted this on a Goodreads forum and received a couple of positive responses, so I thought I would share it here.  My original intent with this idea was to bulk it out and make it into a short story, but making it a much shorter work was a good exercise for me.  Feel free to let me know what you think (good or bad) in the comments.

Enjoy!

Warnings

The toy fire engine had seen better days, but Johnny loved it.  He pressed the siren button non-stop, except to switch to the radio button.  It wailed and called out commands in what was definitely not an inside voice.  Johnny's dad hated the toy, and had a small smile as the siren slowly changed from a screech to a muffled warble, and the voice became a mumbled whisper.  Then one day, it happened.  The toy was silent.

"What's wrong with it?" Johnny asked, a small hitch in his voice.

"The batteries must be dead," Dad replied.

"Can you fix it?"

"It's not the kind of batteries you can replace."  He had no idea if it was true, but if he didn't check then he wasn't really lying.  Johnny sniffled, but didn't cry, and pushed the toy to a corner of the living room.  Johnny's dad felt bad at first, but a fire engine free evening went a long way to making him feel better.

The toy sat in the living room, silent for over a week.  Then, one morning while the family was getting ready for work and school they all heard its louder than ever, deep voice announce, "LOOK BOTH WAYS BEFORE CROSSING THE STREET."  The family walked slowly into the living room, and it announced the same warning again.

"You fixed it!" Johnny said, giving Dad a big squeeze, then dashing over to the toy.

"No," he admitted.  "Must have been a little juice left in the batteries," he added, noticing it wasn't responding to his son's button mashing.  Johnny soon gave up and sat down for breakfast.  The fire engine made the same warning while they were eating, then bellowed it out one last time as they were leaving the house.

By the time lunch time rolled around, Johnny's dad had forgotten all about the toy, and was headed out to his favorite food truck for some spicy tacos.  He exited from the back of the building, like he always did, but his ringing phone stopped him from walking blindly into the alley.  Caller ID showed his home phone number, which was odd because no one should have been home.  He clicked the button to answer and a car raced down the alley, the wind rippling his dress pants.  "Hello?" he answered hesitantly, a little shaken by how close the car came to hitting him, but the line was dead.  By the time he got home from work, he had put the incident out of his mind.

The next morning they all received another warning from the toy.  "DON'T TALK TO STRANGERS."  Again Johnny was excited, but couldn't get any more response from the toy.  It made the same announcement two more times before they left the house, but Johnny's dad pretended not to hear it.

At lunch time he looked both ways before crossing the alley, but it was empty, like always.  Well, except for the day before, of course.  The entire day was uneventful and he had forgotten about the toy's warning by the time it was time to go home.  He was walking through the parking deck towards his car when he saw someone approaching him.

"Can you tell me how to get to Main Street?" the smiling stranger asked him.

Johnny's dad's phone rang, and he put a hand up to the man as he saw it was a call from home.  "Sorry," he said, "It's my wife.  Give me just a minute."  The stranger stood there as Johnny's dad answered the phone call. "Hello?" he answered, and received garbled static as his reply.  "What?" he said, putting a finger in his ear, and moving away trying to get a better signal.  "I can't hear you," he said as he reached the edge of the deck, and then the line went dead.  He looked back at the stranger, still waiting on him, and shrugged.  The stranger shrugged back, then was plowed over by a driver coming too fast around a blind corner.  The stranger died instantly, and right in front of Johnny's dad.  He was late getting home, and while he talked to several police officers that night, he didn't talk to any strangers.

The next morning Johnny's dad felt like he was holding his breath, waiting for the warning.  There was only silence.  Johnny tried the buttons again, but the toy wasn't talking.  Breakfast was quiet, and no voice called out to them as they left for the day.  Johnny's dad looked both ways before crossing the alley at lunch, and made sure he stayed out of the lane in the parking deck when it was time to go home.  He checked his phone for any missed calls, but there was nothing there.

When he got home he noticed the toy wasn't in the living room corner.  "Where's Johnny's fire truck?" he asked his wife as casually as he could manage.

"Oh, it started talking again, so I made him play with it outside."

He grabbed her shoulders, "What was it saying?"

"What?" she said, trying to wriggle free from his grip.

"What was it saying?" he repeated, squeezing her harder.

"I don't know," she said.  "Something about calling 911 in case of an emergency.  Ow! That really hurts!"

He didn't hear anything else she said.  He just ran for the phone dialing the numbers even as he heard the screeching tires outside.

Responding to Reviews

Don't do it!

Really?  But it looks so easy!  I mean look what's right there below every review on Amazon!

It's a "Comment" button, just begging to be clicked!

And look at my Amazon Author Central page where I can see all of my book's reviews:

Another "Comment" button!!!  Surely Amazon wants us to make comments. 

Often imitated, never duplicated

I repeat: Don't do it!

Take a look at some of the books by your favorite authors.  Go ahead, I'll wait..... Notice anything?  That's right, no replies from the author.  It's just not done.  Technically, those reviews aren't even for you.  They're for potential readers.  People who are trying to decide whether or not your book is a good fit for their interests.  The fact that you can glean any helpful information from them, use them to inflate your ego, or print them out and line your cat box with them is just a bonus.

But I'm an Indie Author, and I can do what I want.  I'm more accessible to my fans, which is part of the appeal.  Down with the ivory towers of solitude!!

That's true - there are no real rules to being an Indie Author.  You're not accountable to anyone, and can pretty much do whatever you damn well please.  However, there are expectations.  And if you don't abide by them you're likely to be labelled unprofessional.  Wondering what these guidelines are?  I learned a lot from other Indie Authors who've been at this much longer than I.  Head on over to the Goodreads group SupportIndieAuthors, or go to their website www.supportindieauthors.com for a whole wealth of information from a group of extremely nice and super friendly people.

Believe me, I understand the struggle.  I look at my reviews and I want so badly to interact with them.  You've already made a connection by having them read your work, and you want to keep it going.

You were smiling at the end?  Awesome!  I was smiling when I wrote the ending.

You enjoyed the humor?  Great!  Can you send my wife an email and tell her I'm funny?

You'd like to see it as a movie?  Me too!!!  Who do we call to make that happen?!


So, how can we interact with fans?  There are all kinds of platforms where it's not only accepted, but also encouraged.  Maybe you've heard of Facebook, or Twitter, or even just a regular old blog.  These are places where people come expecting interaction, and this is where being an Indie Author pays off. It's all about making a connection with your readers.

If you don't follow any other advice in this post, please, please, PLEASE listen to this last bit.  NEVER respond to a negative review.  You're not going to change someone's opinion of your work by arguing with them, and most likely you'll lose potential readers when they see how you respond to negativity.  Remember, these are people's opinions, and everyone is entitled to their own.  Honestly, I think "don't argue on the Internet" is just plain good advice for any situation.  Anonymity can bring out the worst in people.

And don't think you've found a loophole by attacking reviews from another site (like Facebook).  The Internet is a big place, but it's all connected, and links between people are getting more numerous every day.

Enjoy the positive reviews, and forget the negative.  If you figure out how to do that, then share the secret with me!

Am I a little insane?

As the ol' Magic 8 Ball would say: "Signs point to yes".

Spell Fade is doing very well.  Better than I would have ever let myself hope for, actually.  Not better than I ever dreamed, because, hey, I'm a writer, and my imagination had better be pretty big.

It's landed in the hands (digitally speaking, of course) of close to 2000 people now, and the Amazon Kindle stats tell me that KU users have collectively read about 750,000 pages.  It's received 20 mostly positive reviews on Amazon and 54 mostly positive ratings on Goodreads.  A large percentage of those reviews mention wanting to see more of the characters, and even looking forward to a sequel.  So, what am I doing?

I'm writing a vampire novel.

That's right, I'm writing in a completely different genre, with totally unrelated characters.  As I check my stats, read my reviews, and look at sales, I gotta ask myself: am I a little insane?  The answer is 'yes'.  Of course I am.  I have to write the book that wants to be written, and right now, for better or worse, that is this horror novel.

For those of you looking for a sequel, fret not.  I will circle back around to the world of Spell Fade, probably as soon as the next book.  Until then ... how does everybody feel about a vampire novel?

Aaaannnddd NOW I'm a published author

Since completing my first novel over ten years ago, I've considered myself to be a writer, an author.  Today, though I can add "published" to that title.  Spell Fade is the third novel I've completed, and what I feel is the best representation of my abilities. Any of you interested in a fantasy novel can check it out here: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01216NR0K

While it is the first, this will most definitely not be my last novel.  I'm currently rewriting the first novel I completed, and I'm digging where it's going.

Book Review: Jack (Rehab for Superheroes, #2) by Ann Livi Andrews

A fairly short story that definitely passed my standard test: can I put it down?  This one took me away from my responsibilities for the better part of an hour, and I feel not one bit of regret.  The review posted on Goodreads and Amazon is below, but I will repeat my one complaint with this work - I don't really consider it to be a short story.  This is better labelled as a serial.  It reads like a chapter in a larger work rather than a stand-alone.  I caught this story when it was offered for free on Amazon, so I can't really complain, but I'll probably wait to see if all the stories are bundled into a single release before I make a purchase.  IF I can wait!

Rated: 4 stars

Review posted at Goodreads and Amazon:

Even though this is the second in the series, I didn't have any trouble following it without reading the first. The story had a fast pace and was hard to put down. Actually, since it is a relatively short story, I didn't put it down until the end. The author packs a lot of good character development and plot into the pages without it feeling rushed.

My only complaint with this story is that it is obviously part of a larger work in progress. I would much rather have the entire story in my hands. As it stands now though, the author has my interest and I am compelled to get the rest of the installments for more of the story. 

Well played, Mrs. Andrews. Well played.

Book Review - The Princess and the Fool by Paul Neafcy

Found this little jewel in an group for indie authors on Goodreads.  I've pasted the review I left on Amazon and Goodreads below, but I wanted to add a few more things here.

I tend to judge books by how much I will neglect other things in order to keep returning to the story.  In that respect, this book triumphed.  The author was very successful in creating scene breaks that encouraged the reader to continue without being on a constant cliffhanger.  There's a delicate balance there between keeping the reader interested and keeping them on edge.  Being interested can be sustained without becoming irritating, but keeping your reader constantly dangling can become tiresome.  At least that's my opinion.  At any rate, he kept me wanting to come back for more.

I will not give away the ending, but will say it was my only complaint.  I understand the ending, but it's not the way I would have preferred to see it.  Still, it doesn't detract from my scoring of the book, nor does it dissuade me from recommending it to others.

The author promises more to come from this duo, and I am looking forward to more adventures.

Rated: 4 stars

The posted review follows below.

This was a fast and fun read. There was enough action that I had a hard time putting it down and I can't recall times where it dragged. It certainly delivered on the promise of humor as well, with several actual laugh out loud moments (one of which earned a scowl from my wife who was watching a movie).

Instead of using traditional chapters, the author uses scene breaks headed with the character whose PoV from which it will be told. This kept the story interesting and allowed the reader to see the same event from several different angles. I found only one or two instances where it seemed to create a strange verb tense scenario that tripped me up. Overall though, I enjoyed the effect.

The author does a good job of worldbuilding using excerpts from stories within his world, providing something much more interesting to read than the dreaded "infodump".The author suggests more to come from this dynamic duo and I am looking forward to seeing more adventures from them. 

Book Review: John Dies at the End by David Wong

It's an older book, I know, but I just got around to reading it.  Below is the review I posted on Goodreads.  Enjoy!

I love the smell of lavender. It has been associated with calming and soothing effects for probably centuries. When I was suffering from a slight cold, my wife suggested a little lavender oil to help me sleep, and I readily agreed. It was then I discovered the darker side of this sneaky flower. While it does promote a deep and more restful sleep in most people, it can also cause vivid and bizarre dreams. I don't remember the dreams now, only the feeling of them. So real I felt for days like there was some task or job I desperately needed to do, but couldn't remember. The strangest part - I kinda want to try it again.

Why do I mention this? Simple. The first two days I spent a decent amount of time reading this book, my nights were like those of my lavender trip. Bizarre and surreal dreams. It was awesome.

Now, the actual review. Does this book overuse juvenile words like "retarded" and "stupid"? Yes. Did those words fit the situation in which they were used? Absolutely. Could the author have come up with better alternatives? I would certainly hope so. Would the narrator the author created have bothered with trying to find different words to describe the situation he was in? Hell no. Does this book contain too many penis jokes? Define "too many". Look, if you can't laugh at a few dozen penis jokes and references then you should probably just move on to another book.

I actually watched (and enjoyed) the movie before I read the book. If you liked the movie, then I would highly recommend the book. It won't necessarily make anything clearer, but it's an even wilder ride.

If you could have any superpower...

The question any geek or nerd should be able to answer.  No, more than that, should be able to explain why they picked that specific power.  For me, this was a dreaded question.

When I was young it was no big deal - flight.  Sure, that's an easy one, and no one is really going to fight you over it.  But it's so lazy.  I also never really "felt" it either.  Know what I mean?  Like I picked it because I had to pick something, not because I wanted to pick it.

Then puberty hit and the power changed to invisibility.  One reason - girl's locker room.  High fives all around.  Of course, it's still a lazy choice, and was mainly just for the laughs.

After that came adulthood, and the problem went away.  Wrong!  Any geek/nerd knows this question is fair game at any time, and if you don't have an answer by this point in your life, then who are you really?  The pressure was just becoming too much.

Enter the book Jumper by Steven Gould (my hero).  It's the story of a boy who discovers he has the ability to teleport to any location he has seen, and by the end of the novel I knew what power I would pick.  My choice was cemented with the sequel - Reflex.

Flight?  Forget about it.  This is potentially faster than light travel we're talking about.  Invisibility?  Hey is that someone over there? Poof!  Nope, don't see anything.  Superpower choice made - check.

Did you see the movie?  I did.  It was entertaining and the reason I decided to read the books, BUT it was the books that made me decide to pick teleportation.  The movie isn't much like the books at all, taking just a piece of the story here and there.  Gould actually wrote another book after the movie that more closely resembles it called Jumper: Griffin's Story.  It was not nearly as fun to read as the first two books.

Well, that's it, a huge weight lifted from my shoulders.  Now I can focus on other important questions, like which Batman do I like best, or in what way would I most enjoy seeing Jar Jar meet his demise?

Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics

So, in my quest to become a traditionally published author I stumbled upon a rather disturbing statistic - the average book published today will sell less than 200 copies.  That's it.  Am I the only one who finds this crazy?

Granted, the number of books published each year has exploded to well over a million titles, which has no doubt been a factor, but let's look at some numbers.

Let's start with the biggest pool we can - seven billion people on this planet.  Now we start filtering it.  Even if you just limit it to the number of people in the US (assuming you are an English writing author, and excluding other predominately English speaking countries), you've got 316 million potentials.  Literacy rates are arguable, but I've seen around 186 million with at least a basic literacy rate.

There's your number - 186 million.  Yet, my book will most likely only land in the hands of 200 of them.  That's less than 0.0001%.  One in 930,000.  I haven't done the math, but my feeling is there's a better chance someone will win the lottery while being attacked by a shark than they will purchase my book.

I think I'm going to throw up.